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  • Come join the “Revolution” My current thoughts on a show I once spurned

    (image via dougtvreview.com)

     

    Way back when J. J. Abrams’ latest hit TV series, Revolution, debuted in October 2012, I was initially underwhelmed by a show that, though armed with an imaginative, promising premise, seemed uncertain how best to execute on it.

    The pilot episode, which introduced us to a world where electricity had simply vanished in a split second throwing civilisation into chaos, wasn’t a failure by any means introducing just enough tension and drama and “what ifs” to keep me watching till the end.

    But it wasn’t compelling enough to make tune in for the second episode nor to reconsider my decision not to watch any further episodes even when I read about its blockbuster ratings in the US which were partly responsible for dragging last place network NBC briefly back to the top of the ratings.

    In retrospect I probably should have given it another chance since shows like Fringe and Stargate SG1, which I now consider to be some of the best TV I have ever watched, didn’t grab me by the proverbial short ‘n’ curlies at the start of their debut seasons.

    But I persevered with them, journeying with the makers of the TV till they found their storytelling rhythm and began delivering on the exciting premises they had outlined at the beginning of their shows’ runs.

    For reasons I can’t explain but which likely has to do with the surfeit of exceedingly good TV on offer at the moment making it all too easy to dismiss a show that doesn’t wow you at the get-go, I never offered Revolution the second chance I gave to these other shows.

     

    Some of the main players in “Revolution” L-R: Aaron Pittman (Zak Orth), Rachel Matheson (Elizabeth Mitchell), Charlie Matheson (Tracy Spiridakos) , Miles Matheson (Billy Burke), Jason Neville (JD Pardo) and major Tom Neville (Giancarlo Esposito) (image via nbcrevolution.tumblr.com)

     

    And after having finally heeded my house mate’s urgings and watched all of the episodes in the series telecast so far, I am happy to admit that I shouldn’t have been so hasty.

    Revolution has indeed found it sweet storytelling spot, and is delivering, week after week, consistently good episodes that have me actively anticipating the next instalment in its apocalyptic tale.

    And here’s the five things I love about a show that has carved out its own distinctive portion of the post-apocalpse genre which as we all know is swarming with more shows that a group of survivors overwhelmed by a fast moving zombie pack.

    (1) Brilliant execution on a tantalising premise
    After a hesitant start when it seemed unsure of the best way forward, Revolution has parlayed a great idea into a well told, fulsomely-articulated story.

    I was a more than a little concerned by the quick, almost unseemly hurry that the series displayed in hurrying through the events of the apocalypse itself in the sort of “nothing to see here, move on” style displayed by the Battlestar Galactica mini-series (which of course became one of the defining shows of the Noughties), with the electricity pretty much off before the opening credits on the pilots had fully rolled.

    But by taking advantage of a narrative much loved by Lost, another of Abrams’ superbly successful TV efforts, the intermittent backstory, it hasn’t just fleshed out the backgrounds of the characters but of the world itself and the conspiracy of misguided scientific endeavour that plunged humanity back into the agrarian age.

    Revolution has wisely not over used this device, doling out the backstory revelations in easy to digest portions that never detract from the present tale they are trying to tell.

    By so doing, they have delivered handsomely and then some on all that initial promise.

     

    It’s not just the maps that have changed beyond recognition. The world has changed dramatically with brute force and realpolitik replacing the niceties of civilisation (image via revolutiontvshow.net)

     

    (2) They are providing answers and lots of them
    Yes we all love a good mystery.

    Nothing makes us keeping watching a show that a well turned “Why” or “What if?” but keeping the carrot dangling for too long with no chance of ever catching it and viewers may well conclude there is a better narrative meal to be had elsewhere.

    The makers of Revolution have wisely worked that out – it’s likely that the lessons of Lost and sundry other shows since where the reveals came at a glacial pace in the hope of keeping the tension just so have  not just been learnt but acted upon – and have given us insights at a regular, but not overwhelming rate, into why electricity came to disappear from the face of the Earth and the role the various players had in making that happen, or reshaping the world that followed in its wake.

    They have magically managed to keep the balance between the grand theatrical reveal and mystery of what is unknown taut and steady and as a consequence watching has become a must-see event since you may miss out on something important should you miss an episode.

     

    Not just a decorative device, these lockets, first seen in the hands of Ben Matheson in the rushed lead up to the end of civilisation as we know it, can actually summon power when needed giving key players including Sebastian “Bass” Monroe, unhinged dictator of the Monroe Republic, an advantage denied to much of the population (image via maskedheroes.co.uk)

     

    (3) Characters that are more than 2D cardboard cutouts
    Giving all your characters sufficient breadth and depth, especially when you are dealing with an epic ensemble show like Revolution can be a challenge of exhausting proportions.

    But bit by bit through finely wrought conversation, selective flashbacks, and narrative twists that have cause various characters to reveal, willingly or unwillingly, their true often-flawed colours,  the show has introduced us to people who have a real reason for being there and aren’t simply superficially-generated slaves of narrative momentum.

    When your characters are as instrumental in moving the story forward as your plot, you have constructed a sophisticated well rounded show that isn’t in danger of running out of storytelling grunt any time soon.

    And characters that we will want to spend time with for as long as the show is around.

     

    The ever closer relationship between one time Monroe republic bigwig Miles and his niece Charlie is the emotional heart and soul of the show but there are so many relationships that come a close second such as that between Miles and Nora or Rachel and Aaron that you know you have a show that knows its characters are every bit as important as its setting and plot (image via anythinghorror.com)

     

    (4) Death is a real and present danger … as is pain and sorrow
    One of the great downfalls of any show in a scarred, post-apocalyptic landscape is rendering your characters essentially bulletproof. (Dark Angel, an early-Noughties drama from James Cameron, is one series that fell into just such a trap.)

    In other words, even though they are living a precariously balanced life in a dog-eat-eat world, the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune seem to slide right off them like they’re covered in some sort of human-sized teflon coat.

    Alas in the real world that’s never the case and while losing any character we care about is tough, it does lend credibility to a show, especially one that wants us to believe, as Revolution does that it’s telling a harrowing story of a world where the value of human life only extends as far as its usefulness to someone else.

    We may  be emotionally shellshocked, and loudly lament the passing of the character, such as when Danny Matheson, beloved brother of Charlie, and long separated son of Rachel died heroically defending the rebels from an aerial attack from the newly energised forces of General Monroe, but we respect the show for staying true to its core idea that the world they represent is a dangerous one and survival is never a given.

    I am impressed that Revolution is willing to kill off key characters and expose those left behind, as well as those watching the show, to the inevitable pain and sorrow that follows.

     

    Danny’s death was a real shock and as emotionally harrowing as a character’s death can be, but it lent “Revolution” credibility as a show willing to give its post-apocalyptic world the sort of realness it needs to come across as truly authentic (image via revolutionison.blogspot.com)

     

    (5) It is willing to possibly completely re-shape its premise if needs be
    Now this is where I venture, rather riskily I might add, into the realm of supposition and conjecture.

    From the way the show is tracking at the moment – the most recent episode “Clue” had Monroe and his forces including the dastardly Randall Flynn (Colm Feore) poised to enter the mysterious “The Tower” in Colorado, which can turn the power back on for everyone, with Rachel and Aaron hot on their heels, and a mysterious group watching from inside – it is highly possible that the original premise of the show, that there is no electricity, could be turned on its head by one flick of the switch.

    It would not be the first time a show has done this with Once Upon a Time ending its first season with the lifting of the curse which had sent all the fairytale characters hurtling into our flawed world, ripped from the moorings of their magical land.

     

    “Once Upon a Time” completely altered the fundamentals of the show at the end of season 1, a brave decision that sent the show off on a wholly new, rewarding trajectory (image via mission2mum.co.uk)

     

    While you might think that pulling the rug of the original premise out from under a show might send it into a calamitous death spiral, quite the opposite happened.

    Once Upon a Time built upon this momentous change, which still left the characters with both the consequences of the curse being enacted and then lifted, and took the narrative in an even more muscular, engaging direction.

    I suspect much the same would happen with Revolution.

    The world has changed forever and won’t simply revert back like a magic wand has been waved to its original pre-apocalyptic state.

    The juice may be flowing again but the world is still monumentally messed up and there is still a great deal of drama to be had.

     

    Or maybe not so forever after all. But even if the power comes back on, our world is changed forever and nothing will ever be the same again (image via 15991471.wwww.fanpop.com)

     

    So yes I was wrong to dismiss Revolution so quickly.

    It has grown into a startlingly good show and one that I am sure will come back from the summer break – its finale airs on June 3 in the US – bigger and better than ever.

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  • “Goodnight Sweet Grimm” … well, it’s time to go … (review of season 2 final episode)

    Should you really venture into the docklands late at night in pursuit of a voodoo doctor Wesen? Nick and the gang are about to find out [hint: NO] (image via blog.zap2it.com )
     

    ** SPOILERS AHEAD … AND ZOMBIES, LOTS OF ZOMBIES **

    There are zombies in Portland!

    And not just any zombies.

    No, these are authentic voodoo-priest created zombies – the priest in question is a seemingly ageless Wesen called Baron Samedi (Reg E. Cathey), a Cracher-Mortel who spits a vile green slime onto the faces of his unsuspecting victims which painfully kills them before they rise from a brief death-like state – who move with swift, violent aggression, much like the zombies in 28 Days later or the upcoming World War Z.

    They are nasty creatures, running on anger and adrenaline, acting much like hopped-up junkies on a rampage.

    When the Baron unleashes them on downtown Portland – part of a plan sanctioned by Eric Renard (James Frain), one of the Wesen royal family heirs and estranged brother of Sean Renard (Sasha Roiz) – all hell breaks loose, drawing Nick (David Giuntoli) away from a lazy morning after a big night before with Juliette (Bitsie Tulloch) with whom he has now thankfully been reunited, and into the chaos the undead have unleashed on the unsuspecting city.

     

    Just another undead day at the office as Portland gets its very own mini-zombie-esque apocalypse (image via hypable.com)

     

    Chaotic though it is, it is but the curtain raiser to Eric’s grand plan to draw Nick into his nefarious hands, and the coldblooded way he goes about it, taking delight in the zombiefication of one of his own men simply because he wants to see how the Baron goes about his cruel work, sends shivers down the spine.

    It’s clear at this point that Sean Renard is well within his rights to treat everything Eric says about a reconciliation with a great deal of scepticism, since Eric’s presence in the city, which by the way he makes clear he regards as a laughable backwater in comparison to the grandeur of his beloved Vienna, has nothing to do with his bastard brother and everything to do with Nick and the key.

     

    Eric behaves like a delighted schoolboy when Baron Samedi, the ruler of death, demonstrates his zombie-creating power on one of the prince’s bodyguards (image via rickey.org)

     

    And Nick, who doesn’t connect the dots, and why would he since Eric and the Baron go to great lengths to keep well within the shadows at all times, is drawn step by step into their carefully-thought out plan until he is lying, in the Baron’s induced death-like state, in a coffin to be shipped back to Europe under a false name.

    Fortunately Juliette, and Nick’s friends and often partners in fighting Wesen crime, Monroe (Silas Weir Mitchell) and Rosalee (Bree Turner) are able to escape the deadly shipping container labyrinth within which the Baron has laid his trap.

    But as the episode ends on a cliffhanger big enough to fit several Grand Canyons of narrative, they sit besieged in their car, unable to drive off, and certainly unable to administer the antidote they have concocted to free the zombified from their wholly unnatural state.

     

    After a wonderful night in which she and Monroe finally took their relationship to a whole new intimate level – at the same as Nick and Juliette did the same, reaffirming their love for each other – Rosalee, along with Monroe and a newly Wesen-aware Juliet, experiences a less than stellar follow up evening (image via seriable.com)

     

    Which includes Nick, sans the key, which is safely ensconced in a hiding place in Rosalee’s spice shop, who is about to be delivered into the hands of his mortal enemies, the Wesen royal family of which Eric and Sean (now Nick’s ally in a bizarre upturning of the traditional Grimm/Wesen order of things).

    Alas the antidote can only be administered when the victim is in their fourth and most violent stage of zombiefication by which Nick will be far away in Europe, unable to be aided his friends.

    Or will he?

    I suspect that Sean, Monroe, Grimm/Wesen newbie Juliette (fresh from seeing her three friends “woge” for her with Monroe sensibly going last) and Rosalee, along with Nick’s now Wesen-aware police partner Hank (Russell Hornsby), who have already made it clear they will make quite the team, will be finding themselves on a plane to Europe, to fight Eric and his dastardly plans for the nicest Grimm of them all, Nick.

     

    Stefania more than knows how to look after herself as Frau Pech, who drugs Adalind so as to swap appearances with her, discover to her cost (image via Facebook.com)

     

    And Europe of course is where Adalind (Claire Coffee), pregnant with a royal heir who she is rather cold bloodedly looking to trade for the regaining of her Hexenbiest powers, is spinning a nasty web of her very own.

    In league with both Frau Pech (Mary McDonald-Lewis) and Stefania Vaduva Popescu (Shohreh Aghdashloo),  the Zigeunersprache of the Schwarzwald gypsies (don’t say that too fast or you may rip the tongue of your mouth before a Hexenbiest can do it to you), who aren’t on the best of terms, Adalind realised in “Goodnight Sweet Grimm” that she had to choose sides.

    That decision was made immeasurably easier by Frau Pech’s rather clumsy attempts to threaten her life, which spurred Adalind and Stefania to cook up a plot to dispatch Frau Pech’s off to the great Wesen hunting ground in the sky and use her heart to get Adalind’s Hexenbiest-ishness back, her price for giving up the baby.

    Frau Pech clearly was on the losing end of Adalind’s endless mercenary strategising, and learnt the hard way that you can’t really trust anyone in the murky labyrinthine world of the Wesen.

    I have a feeling that Adalind’s playing of just about everyone in her life is going to earn her a well-deserved and rather messy comeuppance, but for now she appears to be in the driver’s seat, in control of her destiny.

     

    Nick finishes the episode in a death-like state and on his way into the hands of the royals. Could things get any worse? Of course they could! (image via huffingtonpost.com)

     

    Grimm has raised the stakes quite substantially for just about everyone involved with “Goodnight Sweet Grimm, signalling that the show is getting to ready to stage a rather large thematic and narrative leap away from its case-of-the-week approach of the first two seasons and into a far more dense, arc-liike show.

    That makes sense since both Hank and Juliette are now in the know about Nick’s true calling as a Grimm and have effectively become a team with Monroe and Rosalee, and oddly enough, Sean, making it very hard to go back to the same-old same-old.

    And with the stakes being raised all the time and a power struggle to end all power struggles once the keys are all found in the offing, focus must necessarily turn to this building tension, and attempts to avert an all out human-Wesen war.

    Even with this move to a larger, more epic tableau, I don’t see Grimm losing its focus since it remains at heart the story of a group of unlikely travelling companions, all tied closely to each other one way or another, who just happened to be wrapped in an extraordinary, ever growing world.

     

     

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  • That’s a wrap! A review of the Eurovision Grand Final

    Emmelie de Forest and the rest of the Danish team celebrate their sweet Eurovision victory with the song “Only Teardrops” (image via scmp.com)

     

    I seem to have lost something.

    I had it for years, it served me well, and unerringly came to my aid when I need it the most, usually in May every year.

    What is this mysterious something? (And no, it is not Andrius Pojavis from Lithuania thanks for asking.)

    Why, my ability to reasonably accurately predict the final Eurovision top 10 which in past years has seen me correctly pick 80-90% of the final top 10.

    I am not sure whether it was the sameness of many of the songs, the tight leather pants of Ireland’s dancers which distracted me greatly, or some stray glitter in my eyes, but apart from placing some of the eventual top 10 randomly in my rankings, I appeared to be greatly out of step with the European zeitgeist.

    (I suspect it has something to do with ignoring my gut instinct, which would have placed two songs I love, “Kedvesem” by ByeAlex from Hungary and “Birds” by Anouk from The Netherlands firmly in the top 10; instead I tried to second guess Europe and failed.)

    Not that it will distress me greatly fortunately since I sensibly don’t base my self-esteem on how I psychically predict Eurovision voting patterns, but it underlined once again just how unpredictable this year’s results were.

     

     

    While Emmelie de Forest was long favoured to take out the event, along with Norway and Greece if you believed this prediction, or with Azerbaijan and Romania (!) if this poll was to be believed, and Norway and Ukraine were always expected to place well (very well in my opinion – see below – which sadly proved to be unfounded), other songs confounded pundits like me.

    For a start I clearly completely underestimated the appeal of Greece’s entry, Koza Mostra.

    Yes “Alcohol is Free” had an infectiously catchy ska sound going for it, the presence of a revered national musical treasure in Agathon Lakovidis, and an irrepressible cheeky energy that saw it overcome the deficiencies in what was, by any estimation, a less than stellar song.

    But it was also firmly in the novelty song camp, not quite “Who Let The Dogs Out” terrible to be fair, but veering dangerously close it, with a limited lifespan surely.

    Unlike say the Ukraine’s entry “Gravity”, which has charted on iTunes across Europe, reaching #8 in Sweden for instance or Norway’s Margaret Berger whose catchy electropop number, “I Feed You My Love” which reached #2 in Greece and Sweden, and #3 in Finland (source: wiwibloggs.com), Koza Mostra have only managed to chart significantly in Greece itself.

    Admittedly that is probably largely due to it being sung mostly in Greek but even so, it underlines that it’s appeal and shelf life are limited, which frankly begs the question – why did so many people vote for it right across Europe?

     

    They were possessed of seemingly unstoppable energy, kilts and smiles as big as the Parthenon and they garnered enough votes to finish in 6th place overall – why, Europe, why?! (image via greece.greekreporter.com)

     

    Another song that left me perplexed, confounded, befuddled and everything in between was “”It’s My Life” by Cezar from Romania.

    He is, by all accounts a singer of great talent, a contratenor who won Romania’s version of The Voice, and a graduate of the Giuseppe Verdi Music Academy in Milan, and came to the contest with a song written by popular Romanian composer and writer Cristian Faur.

    And yet with all that talent in hand, he chose to dress in a glittery Dracula-esque outfit, sing a falsetto so grating that dogs and cats were paddling across from Malmö to Copenhagen to escape the wailing.

    Clearly he struck a chord with voters across Europe – perhaps the ones who, like my partner, celebrate the more kitsch acts of Eurovision with gusto and thankfulness that the contest still throws up these almost comical oddities – placing at #13 out of 26 but I am at a loss to explain why beyond his obvious novelty value?

    Surely it wasn’t the quality, or lack thereof, of the performance?

    Are they are all True Blood fans?

     

    I have to award points to Cezar for living the kitsch cliche of Eurovision to the full but for the song itself? Nul points on all fronts (image via queerty.com (c) eurovision.tv)

     

    By and large though the Grand Final played out much as expected.

    Strong contenders like Norway – such a dynamic performance by Margaret Berger on the Grand Final night after a slightly shaky start during Semi-Final 2 – and Ukraine placed high on the rankings, although I still expected Norway to be slightly higher than it was, while Italy and Azerbaijan charmed the crowds with their gorgeously sung, if conventional, ballads.

     

    The song may have been a tad conventional, and Marco may have demonstrated the limber elasticity of a store window mannequin on stage – read he barely moved – but his voice soared with the angels that no doubt got him and Italy into the top 10 (image via Facebook.com)

     

    As I mentioned earlier in the post, I regret not going with my instinct and giving Hungary and The Netherlands a place in my top 10.

    I am not sure why I erred except to say that I think I was trying a little too hard to second guess the voters of Europe who I thought would like the songs but not as much as they did.

    I loved both songs the moment I heard them – Anouk gave “Birds” an engaging otherworldly flavour while “Kedvesem” bounced along with a quiet, percolating joy and ByeAlex’s suitably soft and raspy voice – and should have made the decision on that basis alone.

    After all, for the all the jokes about Eurovision not being about the music, and songs like “It’s My Life” popping into the top 15 (when really it should have swapped places with Ireland’s Ryan Dolan and his song “Love Survives” which didn’t deserve to finish in last place) , good quality songs usually do make into the top rankings since neither the general voting public, nor the juries of music professionals – each score is made up of a 50/50 split of each group’s votes – are willing to give the tick of approval to sub-standard music.

    No matter what the Eurovision conspiracy pundits may say.

     

    Hungary’s ByeAlex, who totally rocked the hipster outfit, delivered “Kedesem” with all the happy grace and charm the song deserved, and the voters of Europe rewarded him with a much-deserved top 10 finish (image via smh.com.au (c) eurovision.tv)

     

    France’s low finish was a surprise since Amandine Bourgeois – BEST. NAME. EVER. – gave a smokin’ performance of her Amy Winehouse-esque song “L’Enfer et Moi”, giving her heart and soul, and a fair swag of her melting mascara, to delivering one of the emotionally-intense performances of the night.

    Another song that I expected to do far better “Marry Me” by Krista Siegfrieds of Norway.

    I doubt it was the controversial (only if you’re a right wing tabloid I would wager) kiss at the end of the song where she locked lips with one of her female back up singers, since much of Eurovision’s core demographic these days is the gay community and their friends and family.

    Perhaps the song simply couldn’t compete with the heart rending ballads, or no one wanted to marry Krista, which is hard to believe since she came across as absolutely delightful in the interview she did with Australia’s SBS television network, but whatever the reason, she deserved a far higher placing for a brilliantly catchy song performed with all the energy you could ask of any performer.

    In the end of course, predicting who will and won’t win Eurovision, and who will place where is as problematic as any other contest with a host of variables – in this case mostly highly attractive, reasonably talented variables with a penchant for tight dresses, leather-clad back up dancers and pyrotechnic curtains of fire and light – and Eurovision 2013 didn’t disappoint in that regard, confounding and surprising pretty much as it always does.

     

    All the contestants paraded into Malmö Arena across a brightly lit walkway far above the crowd to the tunes of a new Benny and Björn and Avicii written instrumental that was as epic and grand and beautiful as you could want for a fanfare (image via eurovision.tv)

     

    Final results for Eurovision 2013

    Denmark: Emmelie de Forest, Only Teardrops – 281 points
    Azerbaijan: Farid Mammadov, Hold Me – 234 points
    Ukraine: Zlata Ognevich, Gravity – 214 points
    Norway: Margaret Berger, I Feed You My Love – 191 points
    Russia: Dina Garipova, What If – 174 points
    Greece: Koza Mostra feat. Agathon Iakovidis, Alcohol Is Free – 152 points
    Italy: Marco Mengoni, L’Essenziale – 126 points
    Malta: Gianluca, Tomorrow – 120 points
    Netherlands: Anouk, Birds – 114 points
    Hungary: ByeAlex, Kedvesem – 84 points
    Moldova: Aliona Moon, O mie – 71 points
    Belgium: Roberto Bellarosa, Love Kills – 71 points
    Romania: Cezar, It’s My Life – 65 points
    Sweden: Robin Stjernberg, You – 62 points
    Georgia: Nodi Tatishvili and Sophie Gelovani, Waterfall – 50 points
    Belarus: Alyona Lanskaya, Solayoh – 48 points
    Iceland: Eythor Ingi, Eg a lif – 47 points
    Armenia: Dorians, Lonely Planet – 41 points
    UK: Bonnie Tyler, Believe In Me – 23 points
    Estonia: Birgit, Et uus saaks alguse – 19 points
    Germany: Cascada, Glorious – 18 points
    Lithuania: Andrius Pojavis, Something – 17 points
    France: Amandine Bourgeois, L’enfer et moi – 14 points
    Finland: Krista Siegfrids, Marry Me – 13 points
    Spain: ESDM, Contigo hasta el final – 8 points
    Ireland: Ryan Dolan, Only Love Survives – 5 points
    (source: mirror.co.uk)

    And the top 10 I picked (with Norway as the winner, and the other 9 in no particular order):

    Norway        Just fourth place? Really? She was willing to feed you her love! HER LOVE DAMMIT.
    Denmark    Granted I didn’t love this song but Emmelie de Forest sang it with passion and deserved a win
    Georgia        Not the best ballad true but better than Azerbaijan’s effort I thought
    Italy               He sang like an angel and looked gorgeous in the suit but he was so still. SO VERY STILL.
    Greece          Sixth place Europe? Did you let all the free Ouzo go to your head just a little?
    Iceland         Such a touching uplifting song and what a hunk of a man. Vikings? Yes please!
    Estonia        She elevated an ordinary song with a extraordinary performance.
    Belgium      I didn’t expect to like this song or Roberto as much as I did. A big surprise.
    Ukraine      Such a powerful in-your-face song awesomely performed by a born entertainer
    Ireland        Another song that grew on me. It deserved better than last place.

    * So which songs would have made your top ten?

     

     

    THE AFTERMATH

    Every year, in the days following The Eurovision Song Contest, all the brotherhood and bonhomie breaks just a little, or a lot in some cases, and the accusations fly. Here’s a few articles you may find make interesting reading:

    * Think it’s JUST a song contest? Think again says Russia.

    * Was it our bad song perhaps? No, we lost because of the gays allege F.Y.R. Macedonia’s entrants (one of whom clearly think he’s god’s gift to, well, just about everyone.

    * And as with every year, some entrants say they were robbed of valuable points by fraudulent voting practices, something the European Broadcasting Union has strenuously denied.

     

     

    But not everyone is cranky. Robyn Stjernberg from Sweden, though placing 14th behind Romania, was ecstatic about his performance!

    And Crikey.com.au had this fascinating look at the language of Eurovision.

    ** so onward and upward to 2014 and Denmark. See you in red and white then!

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  • Done and dusted: Eurovision Semi-Final #2 review

    Ooh la la Krista Siegfrids! “Marry Me” indeed! (image via euronews.com)

     

    This was a night for great surprises.

    Great big shiny, gaudy, oddly-sung prizes in Dracula-esque outfits no less.

    And frankly I was wholly unprepared for them.

    That may sound like an odd thing to say when I have spent week upon glitter-saturated week listening to, thinking about and pontificating about the various songs on offer this year, which have run the gamut from of-the-moment brilliance through to sideshow carnival-cringing (or in other words, golden oldie classic Eurovision.)

    But despite allowing for the fact that what I like won’t exactly match what the European public at large want, and so including songs in my Semi-Final Top 10 that were a mix of personal favourites and more populist numbers I may not necessarily love but could some appeal to, I still found myself reeling, yes reeling at some of the choices made tonight.

     

    He’s alive! No. it’s not Dracula, despite appearance but Cezar, whose choice of outfit caused much mirth across social media, as did the song (image via metro.co.uk)

     

    The most significant of these surprises was that Cezar, a man who apparently is quite a gifted operatic singer and much revered in Romania, made it through to the Grand Final.

    Yes, the man who sounded like he had eaten one of the Bee Gees who were in turn desperately trying to climb out of his mouth, managed to secure enough votes to sing again.

    Think about that.

    It all means of course that we will treated to his comical Dracula-evoking outfit which had me laughing so hard that I found it hard to concentrate on listening to the song.

    Which in retrospect wasn’t necessarily a bad thing I suppose.

    Quite how a novelty act at best – which many people revered as a symbol of the old quirky, the-weirder-the-better- Eurovision of old, including I must sadly admit, my partner – could garner that much support and be given another chance to raise the dead is quote beyond me.

     

    “Alcohol is Free” and apparently the boys of Koza Mostra with guest star Agathon Lakovidis had been hitting the ouzo pretty hard as a result (image via facebook.com (c) eurovision.tv)

     

    Another shock win-through to the Grand Final was Greece.

    Though they at least had a fairly funky ska sound running in their favour, which redeems them somewhat, and are undoubtedly talented musicians and singers, the song is gimmicky at best.

    And while I expected there to be a fairly strong Greek vote for the song, I didn’t expect it to be of a great enough extent to get them to the point where performing in the Grand Final could be a reality.

    But here they are, kilts and al,l ready to dazzle, or appall, Europe all over again.

     

    He is a bright, happy bundle of happiness so while I don’t think the song is a world beater in any sense, I can hardly begrudge Gianluca his moment of glory (image via maltatoday.com.mt )

     

    On the Richter scale of face-palming, OMG surprises, Armenia’s successful entry into the Grand Final wasn’t such a shock since it’s good old-fashioned rock and roll sung with a great deal of passion, if not much else.

    So too Malta making it through.

    Granted Gianluca is a sweet, handsome young guy with a lovely voice but “Tomorrow” is a slight song of little consequence that, as one of my friends noted during his performance, sounds like an album filler track, rather than a stand alone song.

    Clearly though the good people of Europe thought differently.

    Still I wonder how long it will survive out in the big, bad world of real singles which will likely eat “Tomorrow” alive before racing to the top of the charts.

     

    ByeAlex started a little slowly and timid of voice but slowly gathered pace and confidence to bring “Kedvesem” home to the Grand Final for Hungary (image via eurovisionfamily.tv)

     

    The rest of the Top 10 – Hungary, Azerbaijan, Georgia, Norway, Iceland and Finland – fell into place much as expected although both Hungary and Norway started out a little shakily leading me to worry that their ability to deliver on the stage of Eurovision would be claimed by nerves, the blinding LED lights, or a fear that Greece would dance on stage midway through their act.

    But both ByeAlex and Margaret Berger, rallied, and rallied magnificently, helped along great talent and  songs that are so good they could pretty sing themselves.

    Such were the Eurovision landscape-shaking surprises in Semi-Final 2 that I am beginning to seriously wonder if I, or anybody else for that matter can predict what Europe will go for in the Grand Final.

    While I still believe the Top 10 songs, in no particular order (although I expect and hope Norway will win) will roughly look like this:

    Norway (to win)
    Denmark
    Georgia
    Ireland
    Greece
    Iceland
    Estonia
    Belgium
    Ukraine
    France

    I am also fully prepared, this time at least, for the fact that good austerity-addled people of Europe may completely my predictions completely out of the wind-machine whipped waters of Eurovision.

    And the let the wailing and gnashing of teeth, amidst the detritus of another Eurovision Song Contest.

    For an eternity of course if you’re Dracula … sorry I mean, Cezar.

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  • It’s official! Australia loves Eurovision

    (Image via meldmagazine.com.au)

     

    It’s hard to say if it is due to Australia’s welcome embrace of all the nationalities that make up the countries competing in The Eurovision Song Contest or simply our love of the quirky or the unusual, but something about this event has captured Australia’s attention, and quite possibly its heart too.

    We love The Eurovision Song Contest.

    There’s no point denying it.

    Starting tonight, and right across Australia, Australians will be bedecking their lounge rooms in Swedish blue and yellow, making sure they have more adequate stocks of vodka and herring in the cupboard, and wondering whether they should dress up as a Viking or a Volvo car salesperson, with it all culminating in the big parties staged to mark the grand final telecast on Sunday night.

    We will unashamedly be celebrating our ongoing love affair with Eurovision, aided and abetted by public broadcaster SBS, who, as they have done every year since 2010, have sent Julia Zemiro and Sam Pang to host the delayed Australian telecast of the event.

     

    (image via tvm.com.mt )

     

    They will kick off their telecast with “The Heart of Eurovision” with Julia Zemiro at 7.30pm tonight followed by Semi Final 1 at 8.30pm followed on Saturday night at 7.30pm by Semi Final 2 and finishing with the Grand Final itself at 7.30pm on Sunday night.

    In a sign that the rest of the world has noticed our Eurovision obsession, The Sydney Morning Herald today reported that we will be featured on a segment titled “Why Australia Loves Eurovision” during the first semi-final:

    “Australia is being recognised for having been doggedly loyal to this show for 30 years, with a ”Why Australia Loves Eurovision” montage hosted by Zemiro being inserted into the first semi-final and seen by 120 million people. How can some post-punk German zither band compete with that?”

    You can read the full article here.

    So it’s official then! We really, really, really do LOVE Eurovision.

    Now please pass me some herring will you?

    And while you’re washing it down with some vodka, why not check out the clip at sbs,com.au?

     

     

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  • The glorious new trailer for “Arrested Development”

    (image via nerdist.com)

     

    Can we ever have too much of the Bluths?

    Michael Bluth (Jason Batemen) may answer with a hearty “YES!” since he appears to have moved to Phoenix to escape his family, as he promised to do right throughout the show’s original three season run.

    Let’s hope he figures out that the sun always shines there and metal surfaces are not your friend.

    And finds a good vulture removal service lest he scare off prospective clients.

    The million dollar question of course is when and where he will reconnect with the rest of his family in a season that is promising to throw all the rules of linear storytelling overboard in favour of character-focused episodes.

    Each episode will focus on one of the characters but with the promise that all the stories will interconnect giving us  a complete picture of what everyone’s favourite dysfunctional family has been up to, where they are now, and where they are likely to end up … like Phoenix.

     

    One of nine prop-based promo posters released to promote season 4 of “Arrested Development” (image via nerdist.com)

     

    The trailer is packed to the brim with juicy insights:

    • George Michael (Michael Cera) in the same room with his adopted cousin Maeby (Alia Shawkat) raising the question of just what they’re up to, and whether being interrupted by Michael has left them a little uncomfortable … or is it all harmless fun?
    • Lucille (Jessica Walter) being dragged away the authorities while Buster (Tony Hale) goes to pieces
    • Someone, possibly Michael, destroying a little piece of Christmas in their new highly-unusual form of transport
    • Lindsay (Portia de Rossi) trying and failing to convince a sceptical Tobias (David Cross) that she genuinely loves him. At least she’ll get some acting classes out of it.
    • Someone in the family has an ostrich … and it’s chasing Maeby
    • And does George Sr (Jeffrey Tambor) still having anger issues vis-a-vis his son Buster?

     

    We’ll find everything out on the 26 May when Netflix releases all 15 episodes at once.

    Let the binging then commence!

     

     

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  • It’s the end of the show as I know it: My long overdue thoughts on the end of “Fringe”

     

    The end of Fringe in January this year with the almost perfectly-executed double episodes “Liberty” and “Enemy of the State” was, as it is for any series I have grown to love, a gut-wrenchingly sad moment for me.

    Leavened somewhat by the almost flawless way that the show’s producers gave each character a fitting farewell, paid homage to the folklore of the show and wrapped up the magnificently complex Observers arc in an almost unnaturally satisfying way – you can read a brilliant recap of the series finale by the talented Morgan Jeffrey at digitalspy.com.au – it was still difficult to say goodbye to a show that was whippet smart, populated by exceptionally well drawn characters, and emotionally and narratively rich in a way so few series ever are.

    A too-busy schedule got in the way of writing a fitting wrap up when the double-header aired but four months later, and with time to think about what I loved most about the show, I thought   it high time I paid it tribute to the show.

    And so here are the three things I appreciate most about Fringe, which while never a ratings darling, nonetheless stood head and shoulders above its contemporaries and illustrated just how you put together a superlative science fiction series.

     

    The season 1 cast of “Fringe” (image via scifimafia.com)

     

    Build a whole world, not just part of it
    While Fringe did start slowly, and largely resembled a freak-of-the-week show in season 1, it still showed signs of possessing a remarkably strong sense of its own identity.

    Like many shows which spend their freshman season figuring exactly what they are and what they want to say, Fringe didn’t emerge with this identity fully formed.

    But there was enough of it in evidence in the pilot episode where FBI agent, Olivia Dunham (Anna Torv), discovers something weird afoot when a crashed plane full of people with translucent skin is found, leading her, in short order, to brilliant but institutionalised scientist Walter Bishop (John Noble), his son Peter (Joshua Jackson) and the enigmatic, manipulative corporate power player Nina Sharp (Blair Brown), to indicate that there was more to what would become known as a “fringe incident” that met the eye.

     

    A world where an airplane pilot and all his passengers turning translucent in death is par for the course? That’s the “Fringe” universe for you (image via kairepress.wordpress.com)

     

    Over five intricately-constructed seasons where Fringe moved beyond its episodic roots to embrace a far more complex arc which ultimately resulted in the Observers-ruled nightmarishworld of season 5, where mankind is enslaved by future beings incapable of emotion, Fringe brought forth a world where the unexpected, the unusual, and the downright bizarre formed a perfectly-realised universe all of their own, right under the noses of the everyday world we know.

    While it retained the power to shock those new to it, such as Agent Lincoln Lee (Seth Gabel), who arrived in season 2, for those who spent their entire working, and let’s face it personal, lives in it – life as a Fringe agent didn’t allow anyone the chance to enjoy anything close to a work/life balance – it was a fully-formed world that made absolute sense when you were in it.

    And that allowed for imaginative, consistent storytelling week after week.

    We are family
    While it took Olivia some time before the oddly-erratic but lovable Walter Bishop, possessed of a formidable intelligence underneath the quirks and the penchant for strangely-matched at all times of the day and night, and the emotionally-guarded but insightful Peter became more than just unorthodox work companions, they bonded almost immediately.

     

    Olivia, Peter and Walter formed the core of the “Fringe” family, their relationships defining much of what transpired in the show (image via geekpeeks.com)

     

    For reasons that became apparent later on as the full extent of Walter’s meddling in the lives of both Peter and Olivia were revealed, along with the messy, hard-to-remediate consequences that resulted from his misguided attempts to play god, the three felt a sense of kinship that only grew as the show went on.

    Over time Astrid (Jasika Nicole), who ended up being called any number of names, and even non-names beginning with “A” in one of the show’s running jokes – yes even a show as serious as Fringe proved itself capable of humour – and even the once-combative Nina, and Olivia’s boss Phillip Broyles (Lance Reddick) became a part of this extended family with bonds so fierce, and emotionally-resonant, that not even the Observers, or death, could pull them apart.

    Deeper than deep
    It was these self-same deeply-entrenched emotional attachments that lent the characters so much of their compelling humanity.

    Throughout its run, Fringe refused to just tell a story that got us from A to B with detours via a bizarrely-twisted Y, and nightmarishly-warped Z, with only minimal nods to the emotional impact on the characters that moved the narrative forward.

     

    Even the iconography of “Fringe” was distinctive and memorable, lending the show a visual identity unmistakably its own (image via nerdlikeyou.com)

     

    On the contrary, it always eschewed superficial action-oriented storytelling in favour of stories that accurately and fully reflected how the characters we grew to know and love deeply would authentically react in that situation, and how they would be affected by often traumatic events.

    These all too real emotional ramifications, borne of their close bonds, and willingness to bare their souls when necessary to each other, never weighed down the narrative, seamless woven in as they were to the storyline, adding rich, meaningful layers to each episode and lending Fringe a three-dimensional quality missing from shows that regarded their characters as little more than props to advance the storyline.

    Fully realised in every way
    This willingness to craft wholly complete, fully-realised stories was a hallmark of Fringe.

    And it’s what drew me back episode after episode, season after season.

     

    Another view of the one-of-a-kind cast of “Fringe” (image via ctchannel.wordpress.com)

     

    It was the sense that the producers and writers of Fringe cared enough to think through what kind of world they wanted to portray, the sort of people they want to populate it with, and the stories they want to tell, and then put the considerable effort into making this a reality, that made the show so compelling to watch.

    This wasn’t a show done by half-measures.

    It was a labour of love, fully-formed, richly-detailed, and thus satisfying on almost every level, and that is why the end of the show, when it came, was felt so deeply.

    It was, and is, the very epitome of what good quality storytelling should be, and even in the current golden age of television, it remains a very rare thing indeed.

     

     

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  • Road to Eurovision: Big 6 reviewed – UK, France, Germany, Spain, Italy and Sweden

    (image via spyhollywood.com)

     

    WHAT IS THE EUROVISION SONG CONTEST?
    Started way back in 1956 as a way to draw a fractured Europe back together with the healing power of music, the Eurovision Song Contest, or Concours Eurovision de la Chanson – the contest is telecast in both English and French – is open to all active members of the European Broadcasting Union, which oversees the competition.

    Each country is permitted to submit one song to the contest – a song which is selected by a variety of means, usually a winner-takes-all competition such as Sweden’s renowned Melodifestivalen – which they perform in two semi-finals in the hopes of making it to the glittering grand final.

    Only six countries have direct entry into the grand final:

    * The Big Four who fund most of the proceedings – UK, Germany, France and Spain
    * The host country (which is the winner of the previous year’s contest)
    * Italy, who didn’t take part for many years and was re-admitted in 2011 after a 14 year absence (it was one of seven countries that competed in the first event), making the Big Four the Big Five.

    The winner is chosen by a 50/50 mix of viewer votes (you cannot vote for your own country) and a jury of musical figures in each country, a method which was chosen to counter the alleged skewing of votes based on political and/or cultural lines.

    Past winners include, of course, ABBA in 1974 with “Waterloo” and Celine Dion who won for Switzerland in 1988 with “Ne partez pas sans moi”.

    Above all though, the Eurovision Song Contest is bright, over the top and deliciously camp, a celebration of music, inclusiveness and togetherness that draws annual viewing figures in the 100s of millions.

    This year’s contest will be held in Malmö, Sweden.

     

    (image via eurovisionfamily.tv)

     

    In the six weeks leading up to the grand final on Saturday 18 May 2013, I will be reviewing 5-6 songs each week and giving my unvarnished, unguarded and glitter-coated take on all 39 songs competing for glory in this year’s contest.

    It will be brutal, it will be camp, it may or may involve copious use of pyrotechnics, key changes and scantily-clad but limber back up dancers (and possibly a stray Ukrainian grandmother or two) but above all, it will hopefully give you some idea of who has the best chance of success at this year’s contest.

    This post, I preview this year’s “Big Six” countries – UK, Spain, Sweden, France, Italy and Germany, who thanks to either paying for most of the event, or hosting, or well, just being Italian, get automatic entry into the glittering grand final.

    No slumming their way through the semi finals for these lucky countries.

    They simply have to turn up on Eurovision’s Night of Nights, back up dancers at the ready, and do their thing.

     

    SWEDEN: “You” by Robin Stjernberg

     

    Robin Stjernberg, Sweden (image via oikotimes.com)

     

    After going all stripped back and minimalist last year with Loreen content to sit on the floor alone, with just the spirit of Kate Bush to keep her company, Sweden have opted this year for full on bombastic lights, cameras, randomly-choreographed backup dancers … hell, just about everything really.

    They have even given the winningly-handsome Robyn Stjernberg a rather interesting suit that doesn’t know if it’s being worn inside out, or outside in, just to make sure we’re paying attention.

    It is all very hard to ignore but just in case you were thinking of looking away for even a second towards the end of the song, they have inserted an eye-poppingly bright curtain of orange pyrotechnics that may or may not set Robyn’s heavily-gelled impressively-coiffed hair on fire.

    It’s big, it’s loud, it’s says … it is in short, A STATEMENT.

    Of what exactly I’m not sure.

     

    (image via junioreurovision.tv)

     

    But I suspect it’s not that we have a great song and you must hear it.

    In fact the more I listen to the song, sung with a great deal of effort and little else by Mr Stjernberg, I am beginning to wonder if all the razzle dazzle, which may or may not include a wind machine, a rented Ukrainian grandmother, and a duck or something by grand final time, is designed to distract from Robyn’s rather lacklustre vocal delivery.

    The song itself shows a great deal of promise, even if it does suffer from “don’t bore us, get to the chorus” syndrome, relying a little too much on a powerful chorus to bring things home after rather timid, underdeveloped verses.

    Alas in Robyn Stjernberg’s hands, which have a habit of shooting out in odd directions throughout the performance (perhaps he is using his time on stage to catch up on some physio exercises?), it fails to fly.

    I appreciate that he does possess a reasonable voice, and was the runner-up in Sweden’s version of Idol in 2011, so he can sing to some extent.

    But far too often in the song he sounds out of breath or just plain out of key, and the song ends up grating on me when really it should have me up dancing.

    I think he’s going to need the wind machine and pyrotechnics throughout … and perhaps the gel will catch on fire and distract us from what is a second-rate, we-don’t-want-to-host-Eurovision-two-years-in-a-row effort.

     

     

    GERMANY: “Glorious” by Cascada

     

    Cascada, Germany (image via germanpulse.com)

     

    Let me say at the start that I quite like Cascada.

    Like many other gay boys the world over I have danced like a fiend to “Evacuate the Dancefloor” and “The Rhythm of the Night” on packed dance floors lost in the soaring voice of singer Natalie Horler, who works with producers and writers Yann Peifer (Yanou) and Manuel Reuter (Manian).

    Clearly Natalie has the vocal chops to drive a knock a dance tune out of the ballpark (yes I know it’s a sporting metaphor and this is Eurovision but work with me on this one), and the stage presence to entertain and get the crowd up dancing, singing along and clapping.

    And she sports a nice line in glittery outfits which as Latvia will tell you, does get you noticed (although in their case it may be less the clothes and more the song that is garnering them all the wrong kinds of attention).

    So she and her team clearly know how to deliver a song that will whip a crowd into a Germany-voting beat-induced frenzy.

     

     

    (image via youngmusicians.tv)

     

    All that being said, “Glorious” is not the most innovative or cutting edge of songs.

    In fact, for the most part it’s like the “Little Song That Could”, huffing and puffing up the big hill of Eurovision threatening at any moment to break out into a dancefloor-filling crowd pleaser.

    But it never quite gets there.

    It’s upbeat, danceable and sort-of catchy but that sounds a little bit like damning with faint praise (and if there’s one thing you don’t want at Eurovision, home of the eye-catchingly over the top everything, it’s faint anything).

    And alas, Natalie, dear Natalie, who does possess a fine voice somehow manages to sound perpetually off pitch every time she reaches the chorus.

    So close, Germany, so very close, and yet so very far …

     

     

    UK: “Believe in Me” by Bonnie Tyler 

     

    Bonnie Tyler, UK (image via 4kq.com.au)

     

    What is going on, oh countries of Eurovision?

    You keep saddling very talented singers, and let’s face it Bonnie Tyler, whose delightfully raspy rich strong voice gave songs like her mega bestselling 1983 hit “Total Eclipse of the Heart” and 1984′s similarly-successful “Holding Out For a Hero” that extra x-factor something, with songs that simply don’t give them enough to work with.

    Granted Bonnie has been favoured with a better song than poor benighted Englebert Humperdinck last year but that’s not really saying much.

    While “Believe In Me” is a sweet enough song, it pretty much meanders along like a stream flowing through a lush green meadow where sheep graze, and bluebirds trill and leap gaily from branch to branch, looking delightful and the perfect spot for a relaxing picnic but not really amounting to much.

    In other words it doesn’t go anywhere fast and lacks any real emotional centre.

     

    (image via logictherapy.wordpress.com)

     

    It is also possessed of something of the oddest rhymes and phrasing that I have ever heard in a song.

    Try the first 2 lines of the song on for size, which are structured in such a way that Bonnie Tyler is forced into an awkward pause at the end of the second line that doesn’t do much for her her or the song:

    “You say you don’t believe in signs from up above
    And you laugh at the thought of putting your faith in stuff like love”

    There may have been even odder lyrics further on down but frankly I fell asleep somewhere between the first verse and the chorus, or was the bridge and the chorus?

    Hard to say really but a song that induces falling asleep into your scrambled eggs with musical-onset narcolepsy is not a grand final winner in the making.

    Bonnie is still undeniably a star; the song not so much and I will go so far as to boldly predict that booking tickets to Eurovision in the UK next year may be a tad premature.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a sudden urge to spread out a picnic rug …

     

     

    FRANCE: “L’Enfer Et Moi” by Amandine Bourgeois

     

    Amandine Bourgeois, France (image via sechuk.com)

     

    Angst. You’re soaking in it.

    Amandine Bourgeois, who won La Nouvelle Star (the French version of Idol), hasn’t just dipped her toe into the choppy waters of love gone wrong; she has dived in with gusto, wringing every last drop of searing emotion of “L’Enfer Et Moi”.

    It’s clear that she has suffered greatly and there will be hell to pay if these lyrics are any guide:

    “I’m gonna give you hell
    Right where you’re losing yourself
    Have a good look in the rear mirror
    I’ll be the one standing behind you”

    Known for being a very cool rock chick who doesn’t sing her sings so much as live them, she is the perfect for a song that is all smoky late bars, growled delivery and bluesy misery.

    Channelling the spirit of a thousand lovers spurned, this is an hypnotically-rendered song that deals with the sadness of lost love far better than Belgium’s wrist-slashing inducing entry does with the same sort of material.

     

    (image via logictherapy.wordpress.com)

     

    It’s yet more evidence that France is the one you back every time if you want a quality song well sung.

    The country has always danced to its own tune when it comes to The Eurovision Song Contest, a brave go-their-own-way philosophy which I find quite heartening in a world where slavishly following trends seems to be the preferred way to go.

    While it often means they are out of step with the prevailing trend, the one which is usually embraced by the European voting public, and means they never rate highly in the rankings, it does mean we can always expect something fresh, energetic and different from them, a relief in years like this when anodyne ballads are all the rage.

    And what sweet relief Amandine is.

    She brings swagger. She brings soul. She cleans the floor with her dress as she crawls aggressively across it. And  she has a winning way with rose petals, mortar and pestle and voodoo dolls.

    And even more impressively she eschews the usual pyrotechnics for candles. Lots and lots of candles.

    She should make the top 10 on her green credentials alone but I would hope it’s because she’s a sassy singer, with the voice from the gods, who sings and breathes the song she’s singing.

    And also because her floors are clean … very, very clean.

     

     

    ITALY: “L’Essenziale” by Marco Mengoni 

     

    Marco Mengoni, Italy (image via fanpop.com)

     

    You have to hand it to Marco, winner of the Italian iteration of X Factor in 2009 – he knows his way around a good old-fashioned love song.

    “L’Essenziale”  is as sweet, devoted and nailing-your-colours-to-the-mast as they come, and Marco delivers it with enough passion for 5 or 6 would be suitors.

    Who could resist being told they are the “essential thing”?

    I say no one, man or woman, and frankly if Marco was running down the street towards me in full rom-com (romantic comedy) flight, a technique he displays with flawless precision in the clip, I would likely swoon.

    Yes swoon.

    And should there be a pool, a big deep blue pool right in the middle of the intersection of the very large city he was rom-com running in, and I was swooning in, and let’s face it don’t you always have to dodge Olympic-sized pools crossing the street, I know he would also dive in and save me.

    Or trip  and fall onto me. One of the two.

     

    (image via eurovisionfamily.tv)

     

    The point is he would do it romantically.

    Fresh from composing a beautiful heart rending song of love and commitment at his piano, papers strewn across the floor, the detritus of a thousand sleepless nights of songwriting – which could explain the falling into the pool episode; actually it would explain why he thinks there is a pool in the middle of the street in the first place – he would rush to my side, hand on heart.

    Alas it would likely be to my comatose side.

    For while he sings beautifully, and is the very personification of Italian hipster cool and uber romantic chic, the song itself, though sweep-you-off-your-feet beautiful in one respect, is also not the most exciting thing in the world.

    It kind of burbles along, leaving not much of an impression, which means it will likely sink without a trace with voters.

    Good thing Marco can swim.

     

     

    SPAIN: “Contigo Hasta El Final (With You Until The End)” by ESDM

     

    EDSM, Spain (image via eurovisioon.ee)

     

    The candles return!

    Not to be outdone by Amandine Bourgeois of France who hasn’t met a candle she does love passionately, ESDM (El Sueño De Morfeo), a pop-rock band from Spain who know how to get their Enya on with more Celtic influences than a troop of line dancers, have made it clear they are in love with the austerity-friendly power of candles too.

    And their clip is full of them.

    Bright flickering candles packed by the hundred into each square metre, making me deathly afraid that one false step by singer Raquel del Rosario, or bandmates Juan Suarez and David Feito could see a pyrotechnic display of entirely the wrong kind.

    Fortunately they don’t spend all their time indoors, with Raquel showing a great love for standing forlornly on cliff tops watching horses gallop by and leaping onto on occasion.

    There is also gazing out to sea … much gazing out to sea but then this is a song about lovers rediscovering each other and apparently that happens via boat onto impossible high, and difficult to land on cliff tops.

     

    (image via logictherapy.wordpress.com)

     

    I suspect though that all this activity, horse-oriented and otherwise is designed to distract us from a song that frankly is rather less than thrilling.

    Worthy sentiments of love and all that true, and who doesn’t want to see two separated lovers come back into the embrace of the other, but frankly you would want to hope their relationship is a tad more thrilling than this song or could be a very short lived reunion.

    It’s not that the band themselves aren’t talented and Raquel’s voice is a thing of fragile, winsome beauty that manages to stay in key even atop a galloping horse, but the song they have chosen lack any real personality.

    It’s like that perfectly lovely model-good-looks person who comes to a party, and who you think will be the most wonderful entrancing person you have ever met based on looks alone, who turns out to be unable to talk about anything other than paint drying and algal blooms on slow rainy days.

    Looks pretty true, and we should like it, but the song fails to spark on any level, which will likely be a problem if they want to light any more of those candles.

     

     

    * So who’s in with a chance? Have you awoken from your ballad-induced coma yet?

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  • Eurovision news roundup: what’s happening in Malmo

    (image via spyhollywood.com)

     

    We’re so close to this year’s Eurovision Song Contest – the first semi-final takes place on Tuesday 14 May – that you can almost taste the herrings, smell the brännvin, and your chances of being blinded by glittery costumes in close proximity, especially Latvia’s luminously sparkly outfits, grows ever more real by the hour.

    So I thought it high time I caught everyone up on all the news from Malmö, both serious and otherwise, so you can feel like you’re part of the bright, shiny, pyrotechnic-obsessed action …

    A singing summary
    Thanks to the awesomely good people at SBS.com.au, the Australian TV network that broadcasts the Eurovision Song Contest, which goes all out to celebrate the event, for bringing this insanely funny, and bang-on accurate rundown on the songs in contention this year.

    It is almost certainly my favourite song of the year – apart from “Birds” by The Netherland’s Anouk and “I Feed You My Love” by Margaret Berger – and destined to be a cult favourite.

    I give it, naturally, douze points, the highest score possible.

     

     

    Waiting … waiting 
    If you’ve been lying awake at night wondering which act will entertain during the interval at semi-final 2, wonder no more!

    eurovision.tv, the primo source for all your official Eurovision news, posted this on their site causing shivers of excitement among the Swedish pop cognoscenti …

    “Malmö, Sweden – We can now reveal that pop star Darin will join Agnes as the interval act next Thursday during the second Semi-Final. The performance entitled Swedish Pop Voices will involve Darin and Agnes performing medleys of their biggest hits.”

    You can read the rest of the post here.

     

    Darin (image via s1.zetaboards.com)

     

    Travelling with Jack
    Every year Eurovision hits the road for a series of parties across Europe to drum up excitement for the event. Not all the entrants turn up at every event but it gives fans who can’t make it to the event itself – tickets traditionally sell very quickly; even more so this year since Sweden is using a smaller stadium than has been the norm in past years – a chance to experience The Eurovision Song Contest up close and personal.

     

    Natália Kelly, Austria, one of the acts who turned up at the UK Eurovision party (image via eurovision.tv)

     

    bbc.co.uk covered the British party on Sunday 21 April:

    “The Eurovision juggernaut rolled into London recently as the Shadow Lounge in Soho hosted the UK’s preview party, and with the competition mere weeks away the anticipation was almost palpable. Eight of this year’s hopefuls made it over to Blighty, all keen to give a good account of themselves in front of the UK’s most ardent and passionate Eurovision fans and we were on hand to welcome them. Find out their hopes, fears and costume choices for Eurovision in this exclusive video.”

    You can read the full report here.

    Practice makes perfect
    Rehearsals are underway in Malmö Arena with quite a few of the entrant countries having already had their chance to practise their moves on the stage and give us some idea of what’s in store during semi-finals 1 and 2.

    As always eurovision.tv was there to film and record every key change, costume choice and dance move, and you can get some idea of what the rehearsals are like from the footage from day 3 which took place on 8 May:

    “Day three is over here in Malmö and we have had another busy programme of rehearsals! As always we have our summary packed full of articles and of course our headlines video.”

     

     

    The winner takes it all
    Naturally one of the things that concentrates peoples’ minds in the lead-up to The Eurovision SongContest, indeed any contest, is who has a good chance of winning.

    The Big Six – UK, Spain, Germany, France, Sweden and Italy – are automatically into the Grand Final on Saturday 18 May, which will be hosted by a lone host this year Petra Mede (Sweden’s 2011 entrant Eric Saade will host the green room on Grand Final night) with 20 other places leftover for the 33 countries competing in the elimination rounds.

    An unofficial poll on wiwibloggs.com, one of the best Eurovision sites out there, had this to say about who was in the lead on 7 May:

    Semi-final 1 (Tuesday 14 May 2013)
    “When we last checked in on 15 April,  Serbia’s Moje 3 had a 70-vote lead over Anouk. Today they remain in first place, but, following a strong first rehearsal, Anouk has narrowed that lead to just 60 votes. (Serbia’s Moje 3 had not yet rehearsed at the time of publishing this article). Denmark remains in third position. Belarus’ Alyona Lanskaya—who will emerge from a giant disco ball on stage—has climbed from 12th position on 15 April to fourth today. Ukraine, Ireland, Austria, Slovenia, Moldova and Montenegro round out the top 10.”

     

    Anouk, The Netherlands is one of my favourites and I am glad to see she is well up among the leaders (image via eurovision.tv)

     

    Semi-final 2 (Thursday 16 May 2013)
    “Romania’s Cezar Ouatu has extended his lead and now has more than twice as many votes as Malta’s Gianluca Bezzina. Malta has continued to climb steadily with our readers. When we last checked in on 15 April, he was in third position behind Norway’s Margaret Berger. But he’s knocked her down to third.

    San Marino’s Valentina Monetta remains in fourth (though she currently leads with the Wiwi Jury). Greece, Finland, Switzerland, Azerbaijan, Israel and Latvia round out our top 10. According to our poll, the following countries will be eliminated: Bulgaria, Georgia, Iceland, FYR Macedonia, Hungary, Albania and Armenia. Georgia will qualify.”

    You can read all about who is where in the rankings here.

    Getting judged (and voting)
    Eurovision’s voting system, which seems to get tweaked every year but which has largely been in place since 1975 – it is currently a 50/50 combination of public votes and juries made up of industry professionals – can be hard to decipher.

    It can also drive you to drink as you wait, at the end of the final night’s performances, for every single country in the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) to declare their 10, 11 and 12 point votes live on television (all the smaller point allocations are automatically entered into the system).

    So the SBS Eurovisionary, comedian Marcel Lucont has been hard at work deciphering it for you at sbs.com.au:

     

     

    You can also see his analysis of the contest as a whole here.

    * So c’est tout for now – all you need to do is fire up your wind machine, scatter glitter like eye-blindinlg bright autumn leaves and pour a glass or 300 of vodka and wait for the LED screens to spring to life announcing the return of Eurovision to our sadly camp-deprived lives.

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  • All-singing, all-dancing, lip-reading “The Walking Dead”

    Sarah Wayne Callies (Lori Grimes), late of “The Walking Dead” caught either mid-scream, or quite possibly, mid-trill (image via fanpop.com)

     

    Who said zombies can’t dance?

    Or sing? Or hell, learn a simple line of dialogue?

    Oh right, just about everyone.

    Well fear not because by the magic of one fan’s brilliance, they have learnt to sing, dance and trade witty oneliners with the survivors who spent their days trying to outwit and survive them.

    And if this entertaining clip is any guide, then life may not be so bleak in the apocalypse after all.

    Just be careful body parts don’t drop off the zombies soft shoe shuffling in front of you …

    It may cramp your style a little.

     

     

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