* SPOILERS AHEAD … AND THE ALL-NEW CRAZE “DUMPSTERCISE”, THE BIGGEST FITNESS CRAZE AMONG THE UNDEAD OF THE APOCALYPSE *
So the big news of the quietly-paced by still dramatic penultimate episode of the first half of season 6 (penned by Channing Powell) was, as had been rumoured whether or not Glenn had lived … or died.
Yessirree finally finding out whether Glenn (Steven Yeun) had channelled his inner zombie and was wandering the streets of Dumpster Town next to Nicholas (Michael Traynor) aka Most Likely to Die by Intestinal Dispersal by Walker OR … whether he had somehow miraculously lived was answered in the opening scenes of “Head’s Up” an episode which showed that the sheltered, in all senses of the word, residents of Alexandria, were finally understanding what they needed to do to survive.
But as with the litany of talent shows that still seem to survive zombie-like on TV schedules, and won’t tell who is staying around to sing or artistically project watermelons out of a giant cannon till after the next ad break, word on exactly which of the two fates befell Glenn shall wait for a little while at least …
In the meantime, Things Were Finally Learnt.
Well by most people at least.
Rick, who spent much of the episode, as is his wont these days, wandering like the Grim Reaper’s less happy, less popular cousin, acted as Father Confessor to a few people who needed to get off their chest that “You wuz right.”
Among them was Tobin (Jason Douglas) who, as he helped Rick rather noiselessly hammer extra wood onto the wall to bolster it’s ability to keep out the herd beyond – the very definition of a pointless task as it turns out as the rotting church tower finally gave way and took away two sections of the wall; yup UH-OH! RUN! – admitted that he’d realised that he and the other long standing residents had perhaps, kind of, possibly, been a little, you know, WRONG about what is needed to survive in the apocalypse.
Rick, being the jolly old fellow he is these days, always ready with a surly smile or a grimly-expressed sense of inner joy, took the news with his customary “Bah humbug!”, presumably waiting for a Change.org petition to come his way from everyone in town saying “WE WUZ WRONG. RIC SHOULD GET A MEDAL”.
One person who, fresh from drinking too much and eating purloined groceries, had learnt his lesson well and decided to Do Something with it was Spencer (Austin Nichols).
Alas, good old Spencer, who seemed like such a bright, sweet fellow at one point – our bad, he must have had his dunce cap at the cleaners when first we met him – got it into his head that he should repel over the top of the walkers, mere metres from their grasping, lifeless hands, find a car and drive it away to lure them from Alexandria’s cookie-filled surrounds.
What could go wrong right?
Well pretty everything really.
The grappling hook gave way almost instantly, Spencer went tumbling into a space in the horde, managed to not get bitten thanks to Tara’s (Alanna Masterson) dangling-off-the-wall sharpshooting while Rick and Morgan (Lennie James) pulled him back up the wall to safety.
Well done Spencer. Today’s exercise in stupidity nicely executed!
Deanna, who has come back from the grieving abyss fired up about expanding Alexandria into an even bigger walled compound – a worthy and stupendously well-timed idea given how well protecting the smaller original version is going at the moment – was inordinately pleased she hadn’t lost her sole remaining family member to a bloody walked feeding frenzy, Tara was pissed off when Rick had a go at her for getting her Cirque du Soleil on, and only marginally impressed when he later sort of apologised, and Spencer, well he thought, he’d attempted to do a good thing.
Nah-ah Spencer, EPIC FAIL … back to Look After Yourself Class with Rosita (Christian Serratos) where Eugene (Josh McDermitt) and Jessie (Alexandra Breckenridge) were learning, or in Eugene’s case freaking out, about learning how to use a machete with walker-dispatching efficiency.
Perhaps he could join gun shooting class, conducted by Rick and a smart-mouthed interjecting Carl (Chandler Riggs) with angry, surly, of dubious heart-and-mind Ron (Austin Abrams) who is not up to something at all.
Like killing Carl by shooting him in the back.
PERISH. THE. THOUGHT.
Oh yeah and Glenn? Things HAPPEN people, things happen. Exactly what will be announced shortly …
OK now … I can’t wait and hereby admit I would make a lousy, LOUSY, talent show host.
GLENN LIVES! HE LIVES!
I ad continued to maintain that even in the face of the doomsayers and naysayers of the world who believed, mostly correctly that no one could survive falling into a swirling mass of peckish zombies.
Thankfully there were wrong and Glenn, freaked out though he might have been, pushed himself backwards under the dumpster away from the herd, knifing the more observant of the undead number who saw his scoot away, thus providing himself with a good old-fashioned zombie shield.
Come morning, the herd had got bored, wandered off and it was just him, and a bored Enid who threw him some water before noisily and unhappily losing herself among the ghost town.
Glenn naturally was having none of this, found her and proceeded to give her an on-the-road therapy session,complete with helium-filled lime-coloured balloons, which are apparently the internationally-recognised symbol for “My husband is alive!”
Well if you’re Maggie (Lauren Cohan) at least.
Alas Glenn, and a slightly less angry Enid made it back to Alexandria just in time to watch all hell break loose as church towers fell and wall were snapped like twigs, and the herd invaded, putting everyone’s lives in peril and giving Morgan, who found himself the subject of a Star Chamber of sorts composed of Carol (Melissa Mcbride), Rick and Michonne (Danai Gurira), a chance to see if his peace-love-and-mung-beans aikido philosophy was even slightly useful in the real world.
You will remember, of course, that it was Morgan’s decision to let five of the Wolves go that gave Rick more than a spot of bother out on the road, and his only response to whether “All life is precious” was a goer in a world overrun with the undead and people who thought “All life deserves to die or hand me its candy bar and gun” was “I don’t know”.
Think Morgan THINK!
There are walkers inside the walls, the living are scurrying for cover and as befits a mid-season finale which shall leave us hanging till episode 9 comes along next February, all hell is most definitely breaking loose.
Let’s hope the class remembers those machete moves under the pressure of a real world exam.
- The mid-season finale, and a herd of walkers, is upon us! Run, fight but don’t just stand there people as “Start to Finish” does it cliffhang-ery thing …