In his 1798 epic poem, The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, Samuel Taylor Coleridge penned the immortal lines – “Water, water everywhere, nor any drop to drink”, a lamenting of the fact that though you may be apparently surrounded by something, some quirk of circumstance may mean you not able to make use of it.
The same can often be said of the multitudinous shows and movies available via streaming platforms which offer up a surfeit of viewing options but if you’re time poor, like this reviewer, can often feel as if they’re on the moon such can be their lack of usefulness to you.
Even so, hope springs eternal and all that, and so trailers keep getting watched and promo pieces read in the hope that maybe, just maybe, that show or that movie may make it off the watchlist – quickly becoming every bit as onerously tantalising as the TBR pile is for the books – allowing to join everyone else around the virtual watercooler.
Still, there shouldn’t be pressure because FOMO doesn’t apply when you can get to a show any time you like, even months or years later, and so keep adding them to your watchlist because one day, well, they may be just what you need to watch …
SNAPSHOT
Bros before UFOs. Blasted follows childhood friends Sebastian & Mikkel (Axel Bøyum & Fredrik Skogsrud), who are reunited for Sebastian’s bachelor party. While Mikkel never matured past teenage laser tag-prodigy, Sebastian has grown into a career-obsessed workaholic who’s using the party to schmooze a potential client. But when the bachelor party stumbles head-first into an alien invasion, it’s up to Mikkel and Sebastian to reunite as the kick-ass lasertag duo they once were and fight back. Blasted is directed by Norwegian filmmaker Martin Sofiedal, director of the film Legend of the Ghost Dagger previously, plus tons of short films and some TV work as well. The screenplay is written by Emanuel Nordrum. (synopsis courtesy First Showing)
Blasted releases on Netflix on 28 June 2022.
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In the village of Gavaldon, two misfits and best friends, Sophie (Sophia Anne Caruso) and Agatha (Sofia Wylie), share the unlikeliest of bonds. Sophie, a lover of fairy tales, dreams of escaping her ordinary village life, while Agatha, with her grim aesthetic, has the makings of a real witch. Then one night under a blood red moon, a powerful force sweeps them away to the School for Good & Evil — where the true story of every great fairy tale begins. Yet something is amiss from the start: Sophie is dropped into the School for Evil, run by the glamorous and acid-tongued Lady Lesso (Charlize Theron), and Agatha in the School for Good, that’s overseen by the sunny and kind Professor Dovey (Kerry Washington). According to the Schoolmaster (Laurence Fishburne), only true love’s kiss can change the rules and send the girls to their rightful school. But when a dark and dangerous figure (Kit Young) with some mysterious ties to Sophie reemerges and threatens to destroy the school and the rulebook entirely — the only way to a happy ending is to survive the fairytale first. The School for Good & Evil is directed by filmmaker Paul Feig, of the films I Am David, Unaccompanied Minors, Bridesmaids, The Heat, Spy, Ghostbusters, A Simple Favor, and Last Christmas previously. The screenplay is by Vanessa Taylor, David Magee, Paul Feig, adapted from Soman Chainani’s book series. (synopsis courtesy First Showing)
The School for Good and Evil releases on Netflix in September 2022.
SNAPSHOT
An upcoming American horror comedy film produced, written and directed by Rob Zombie, based on the 1960s family television sitcom of the same name. The story follows a family of monsters that move from Transylvania to an American suburb. The Munsters film is both written and directed by American horror filmmaker Rob Zombie, director of many films including The Devil’s Rejects, Halloween I & II (2007 & 2009), The Lords of Salem, 31, and 3 from Hell previously. Produced by Mike Elliott and Rob Zombie. The original series, The Munsters, is available for streaming on Peacock. It ran for two seasons from 1964 – 1966, with several spin-off feature films and a sequel TV series titled The Munsters Today in the 1980s. Exact release details for this new reboot are not announced yet. (synopsis courtesy First Showing)
Exact release details for The Munsters reboot are yet TBA.
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After the collapse of Earth’s ecosystem, Vesper, a 13-year-old girl struggling to survive with her Father, must use her wits, strength and bio-hacking abilities to fight for the future. Vesper stars Raffiella Chapman, Rosy McEwen, Eddie Marsan, Richard Brake and Edmund Dehn. (synopsis courtesy Flickering Myth)
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Nearly 5,000 years after he was bestowed with the almighty powers of the ancient gods—and imprisoned just as quickly—Black Adam (Johnson) is freed from his earthly tomb, ready to unleash his unique form of justice on the modern world. Black Adam is directed by Jaume Collet-Serra (Jungle Cruise) and sees Dwayne Johnson starring alongside Noah Centineo as Atom Smasher, Aldis Hodge as Hawkman, Quintessa Swindell as Cyclone, Pierce Brosnan as Doctor Fate, Sarah Shahi as Adrianna, Marwan Kenzari as Ishmael, Bodhi Sabongui as Amon. (synopsis courtesy Flickering Myth)
Black Adam releases 20 October in Australia and 21 October 2022.