Wayward Pines: “Pass Judgement” (S2, E8 review)

Jason loved recreating the opening credits of Charlie's Angels right down to the iconic silhouette pose (image via Spoiler TV (c) FOX)
Jason loved recreating the opening credits of Charlie’s Angels right down to the iconic silhouette pose (image via Spoiler TV (c) FOX)


Let’s hear it for the new Wayward Pines cardio programme!

With life in the prettiest apocalypse ever – make no mistake, old-fashioned US town notwithstanding, that humanity has had its apocalypse, one largely unseen by its current rump surviving population (save for poor old “I’ve seen too much CJ, played by Djimon Hounsou) – largely a sedentary affair, Jason (Tom Stevens), voted Leader Most Likely to Never Deviate From Policies That Will Get Us All Killed four years in a row, decided it was high time that everyone got out for a good old jog around the time.

Or cowered in their homes. You know, same same.

Seriously though, and trust me things are getting way more serious with every passing nanosecond as Abbies without number mass outside the fence with thoughts uncharitable to humanity on their collective consciousness, good old Margaret, female Abbie extraordinaire, fresh from killing Megan (Hope Davis), went on the run through the town.

In a strategy that initially resembled the Scarlet Pimpernel – “They sought her here, they sought her there, they sought the psychic Abbie leader everywhere!” – she leapt from building to building, ducked and weaved, stared up at idiot teenage lovers making out in the woods and finally, with humanity STILL shooting at her, raced under the fence via an old system of pipes that, whoops!, no one save for Rebecca (Nimrat Kaur) remembered were there.

So mystery solved about her ability to zip in and out of the bright, shiny new town that had been built on the ruins of her own, colonial occupying power-like.

While all this running was undoubtedly good for most peoples’ constitutions, it didn’t do very much for one poor anonymous soldier who still had his doting wife’s “Now you be careful out there” encouragement ringing in his ears when Margaret grabbed him, ripped him limb from Homo Sapiens limb and used his blood to create a fall trail through the town that Theo Yedlin (Jason Patric) and Adam Hassler (Tim Griffin) followed until they realised there wasn’t much point anymore.

While they were chasing literal red herrings – granted there were no fish but there was a lot of red otherwise – Margaret had the rest of the town locked behind shop doors and cowering in designer homes, save for Rebecca who, surprise surprise!, was pregnant.

To Xander (Josh Helman), her Wayward Pines hubbie. Not Theo. Xander. Once again Xander. Who she kissed. Yup, that should be one calm subsequent discussion with Theo who as we know handles everything with brooding simmering unhappiness.


Margaret" loved her games of hide-and-garrote-Wayward Pines-folk, especially when everyone came out to play (image via Spoiler TV (c) FOX)
Margaret” loved her games of hide-and-garrote-Wayward Pines-folk, especially when everyone came out to play (image via Spoiler TV (c) FOX)


But that conversation would have to wait.

For as the minutes ticked by and Margaret flashed by in a blur here, there and everywhere, leaving humanity shooting at each other – in so doing revealing deep resentments about being there at all, proof that Pilcher (Toby Jones) old “Kidnap them and they’ll thank you later” recruitment approach was a bust – it became increasingly apparent that humanity was outclassed, and outgunned.

Not literally naturally but in terms of street smarts and survival skills with the Abbies, and Margaret in particular, getting the cumulative gold star, blue ribbon and shiny Oscar statuette trophy for winning Darwin’s still active survival of the fittest race.

Any discussions about humanity having it all together became moot as the Abbies, proved time and again that they weren’t some accidental anomaly, or that if it purely genetic terms that is what they are, that they’d transcended it and had truly inherited the Earth.

Theo knew it. Hassler knew it and good old CJ and Kerry (Kacey Rohl) whose Abbie-initiated injuries left her unable to play everyone’s favourite Wayward Pines game of “Let’s Get Pregnant!” – her conversation with Jason to that effect seem to go Hallmark Channel “I love you … no, I LOVE YOU” well, on the surface at least – knew it.

Only good old “But Pilcher said … wait he said … no really he did” Jason, still fond of the fascist-era military uniform and some pithy meaningless slabs of “reassuring propaganda” still seemed to be clinging to the idea that humanity could triumph by their old tactics of shoot and ask absolutely no questions later.


Theo Yedlin had wanted to be many things growing up but a broken record/lone voice crying out in the apocalyptic wilderness wasn't one of them (image via Spoiler TV (c) FOX)
Theo Yedlin had wanted to be many things growing up but a broken record/lone voice crying out in the apocalyptic wilderness wasn’t one of them (image via Spoiler TV (c) FOX)


The episode, which moved at a fairly frenetic pace, and included Margaret and a pregnant Rebecca coming face to face and sharing an “understanding” until Xander shot at the Abbie’s smart-as-a-cookie leader, leading to the, ahem, KISS, was another instructional lesson in rump humanity’s inability to realise that evolution had left their party and thrown its lot in with the Abbies.

Granted humanity had pretty buildings, ice cream and beauty treatments but the Abbies, contrary to what Pilcher and his gang of Kool-Aid drinking acolytes believed, had community, the ability to learn – well the females anyway; the men were not that bright to be fair – and numbers, oh my god they had numbers.

And as it became increasingly clear they wouldn’t be shy using them, Jason took Kerry to his personal panic room where Adam and Eve could wait out the looming Abbie-ocalypse, his bright, excited “screw everyone else!” smile dimming considerably when Kerry revealed that she wasn’t going to recreating anyone’s race, thank you very much.

The reality is that sparely-decorated panic rooms aside – which leads to the observation that why didn’t Pilcher with all his money and resources better equip the freaking town with, you know, everything? Food, books, curtains? – is that humanity neck is well and truly on the fateful chopping block and with Theo, Hassler etc still lone voices crying in the wilderness, it doesn’t look like anyone with authority will act in time to avert coming catastrophe.

And frankly with people like Jason reasserting a stupidly boneheaded divine right to rule at every turn, you can help but will the Abbies to win, since Homo Sapiens aren’t exactly winning the PR campaign and look unlikely to do soon anytime soon.

*So have we turned the corner? Are there brighter days ahead for humanity? Will humans and Abbies gather around the campfire for a rousing rendition of “Kumbayah”? Have you been paying attention? Next week’s episode “Walcott Prep” simply reconfirms that it’s going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better … ah who are we kidding? Better schmetter!


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